Can You Have Sex With a Ring Pessary In? A Frank Guide for Sexually Active Women
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This is one of the most common questions we get, and it's almost always asked by email or WhatsApp rather than at a doctor's visit — because it's awkward to bring up in a 12-minute appointment. This guide is the frank version, written by our clinical team for patients who want a clear answer without the hedging.
Why the shape of the pessary matters
A ring pessary is a flexible silicone circle that sits in the upper vagina and supports the pelvic organs from below. The two variants differ in one key way:
- Ring Without Support (open ring) — a simple silicone ring with an open center. Think of a small donut. Nothing blocks the vaginal canal below the ring itself.
- Ring With Support (membrane ring) — the same ring, plus a thin silicone membrane stretched across the opening. This membrane provides extra bladder-neck support for patients with cystocele or mild stress urinary incontinence — but it also physically blocks the vaginal canal.
The open-ring design was created specifically so that women who use pessaries for prolapse alone don't have to remove the device for intercourse. The with-support design was created for patients whose primary concern is bladder support, where the membrane is essential to how it works.
Quick comparison
| Question | Ring Without Support | Ring With Support |
|---|---|---|
| Can I have penetrative sex with it in? | Yes — for most patients | Usually no — remove first |
| Will my partner feel it? | Rarely. Some report a slight pressure sensation. Not painful. | Yes — the membrane is felt. |
| Does it need to be removed for oral sex or non-penetrative intimacy? | No | No |
| Will it dislodge during sex? | Uncommon. Correct sizing keeps it in place. | N/A — usually removed. |
| Do I need to remove it after sex? | No. Continue normal wear. | Yes — if you removed it, reinsert. |
| Any effect on fertility or conception? | No | No (when removed) |
What sex actually feels like with the Without Support ring in
Most patients report that intercourse feels essentially the same as it did before the pessary. A minority notice a mild sensation of pressure or fullness — this is normal and usually resolves within the first few times. The ring is soft, flexible silicone; it flexes and compresses to accommodate penetration.
For the partner: most partners either don't notice the device at all or feel a soft rounded pressure that they describe as "present but not distracting." This is very different from something rigid like a diaphragm or a cervical cap.
What if I have the With Support ring and want to have sex tonight?
Remove it. Here's the sequence:
- Wash your hands. Warm water and unscented soap.
- Bear down gently (like a soft push during a bowel movement) — this brings the pessary closer to the vaginal opening.
- Reach in with a finger, hook the front rim of the ring, and gently tilt it downward and out. If the ring has a knob (the Knobbed version), pull the knob directly.
- Rinse with warm water. Air-dry.
- Store in a clean, dry pessary storage case until you reinsert — ideally within a few hours if you're using it for ongoing prolapse support.
Reinsertion is straightforward — fold the ring, tilt it in, and let it flex open in the upper vagina behind the pubic bone. Full step-by-step in our insertion guide.
Which pessary should I choose if intimacy matters?
Match the device to your primary clinical need first, then factor in intimacy:
Frequently asked questions
Can I get pregnant while wearing a pessary?
Yes. A pessary is not a contraceptive — it does not block sperm or interfere with conception. If you want to avoid pregnancy while using a pessary, use a separate contraceptive method.
Do I need to remove a Without Support ring before sex?
Most patients do not. The open-ring design accommodates intercourse for the majority of sexually active pessary users. If you find it uncomfortable, remove beforehand and reinsert afterward.
Can lubricant damage a silicone pessary?
Water-based lubricants are safe. Do not use silicone-based lubricants with a silicone pessary — they can degrade the surface over time. Oil-based lubricants also degrade silicone. Our Smooth Personal Lubricant is formulated compatible with silicone pessaries.
What if the pessary comes out during sex?
Uncommon with correct sizing. If it happens, likely the pessary was slightly too small. Retrieve, wash, reinsert. Try the 3-Size Right-Size Pack to find the right size or contact us for a free size exchange.
Should I tell my partner I'm wearing a pessary?
Your call — but most partners appreciate knowing. Many report feeling relieved once they understand what the sensation is.
Is it safe to have sex right after inserting a new pessary?
Wait 24 hours after your first-ever insertion to confirm the size is right. After that, no restrictions for the Without Support ring. For the With Support ring, remove for intercourse then reinsert normally.
Can I use a pessary during my period?
Yes for both types. The Without Support ring allows normal menstrual flow through the open center. With the With Support ring, the membrane may slightly restrict flow — some patients prefer to remove during heaviest days.
Will my partner think it's weird?
Ring pessaries are common medical devices worn by an estimated 12–15% of women over 60 in the US. A brief "I use a small silicone ring for pelvic support—you probably won't notice it, but I wanted you to know" covers it.
Still have questions?
Our clinical support team answers every intimacy or sizing question, discreetly, by email or WhatsApp — same business day. No topic is off-limits. Email sales@scimedstore.com or WhatsApp +1 (669) 265-9353.
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